Uncategorized

Difficult Conversations – In Episode 90, of the Divorce University Online Podcast, we talk about the difficult conversations that are often part of divorce. Maybe you are making “the announcement” or maybe your negotiating finances or a parenting schedule. Or maybe, you need to talk about the difficulty one of […]

It All Starts With Your Thoughts – In Episode 89, of the Divorce University Online Podcast, we dive inward to look at common internal thoughts people have during a divorce or breakup. Your thoughts can often be your own worst enemy. They can lead you to say and do things […]

Co-Parents! Written Communication Is Better – In Episode 88, of the Divorce University Online Podcast, we talk about why it is imperative for co-parents to use written communication. This is especially important if you have a high-conflict relationship with your ex. Written communication can even give you an advantage in […]

Is Litigation Killing You? – In Episode 87, of the Divorce University Online Podcast, we discuss the most common problem in the industry that no one wants to talk about, litigation. Litigation can cause major rifts between families and hurt feelings or damaged relationships for years to come. Worst of […]

Do I Need A Divorce Coach? – In Episode 86, of the Divorce University Online Podcast, we discuss the most under utilized divorce professional in the industry, a Divorce Coach. What is a divorce coach and how do you know if you need one? A divorce coach can be an […]

The Right of First Refusal – In Episode 85, of the Divorce University Online Podcast, we discuss a common Court order in many parenting plans, the “Right of First Refusal”. If you don’t know what that is, then this a must-listen episode for you. A Right of First Refusal, at […]

Moving On From Divorce – In Episode 84, of the Divorce University Online Podcast, we discuss the difficulty of moving on after divorce. Many people feel stuck emotionally, financially, and in their co-parenting. We’ll discuss how you can deal with all of these issues in a way that helps you […]

My Kids Are Saying……… – In Episode 83, of the Divorce University Online Podcast, we discuss the kids and the things they say about the other parent or the other parent’s home. Often, it’s TMI and you can find yourself thrown back into the emotional rollercoaster of divorce. So, what […]

Verbal and Emotional Abuse – In Episode 82, of the Divorce University Online Podcast, we discuss the number one complaint we hear about relationships, verbal and emotional abuse. Courts are concerned about abuse, but abuse that comes in the verbal and emotional form is much harder to prove. This often […]

What’s Love Got to Do With It? – In Episode 81, of the Divorce University Online Podcast, we discuss love. Now, I know you’re thinking it’s odd for divorce professionals talk about love. But trust us, we see what love IS NOT, all day, every day. And if you’re like […]

Long Distance Parenting – In Episode 80, of the Divorce University Online Podcast, we discuss Long Distance Parenting. Are you a Mom or Dad struggling to bond with your child over a long distance? Or perhaps your trying to help maintain the connection between your child and the other parent, […]

I Want My Divorce to Be Done, So What’s Taking So Long? – In Episode 79, of the Divorce University Online Podcast, we discuss the timeframe for a typical divorce, which is usually shocking for most people. We’ll dive into the two stages of every divorce process and share the […]

Become A Relationship Ninja – In Episode 78, of the Divorce University Online Podcast, we discuss the relationship warfare that overtakes many divorcing families. Are you approaching your relationships in a way that encourages battle? Or perhaps your fighting the completely wrong battle? How can you tell? We discuss ways […]

Overcoming Blaming Others – In Episode 77, of the Divorce University Online Podcast, we discuss the bad habit of blaming others for our problems. Do you have this problem? You may not think so but we’ll give you some questions to ask yourself so you can find out if you […]

Holding On to Hope – In Episode 76, of the Divorce University Online Podcast, we discuss having hope. Hope is generally thought of as a positive feeling, but it can work against you if you are holding out hope for the wrong things or for the wrong reasons. Sometimes hope […]

Breaking Up Is Hard to Do – In Episode 75, of the Divorce University Online Podcast, we discuss the emotional difficulty of breaking up. We often hold on to the old relationship through conflict or begging for reconciliation. Once we do start to move on, we often repeat old patterns […]

What Does A Good Marriage Even Look Like? – In Episode 74, of the Divorce University Online Podcast, we remarriage after divorce. Often, divorcing people have been in a high-conflict or dissatisfying marriage and don’t even know what it’s like to be in a good marriage. Second marriages fail at […]

FEAR – False Evidence Appearing Real – In Episode 73, of the Divorce University Online Podcast, we talk about fear in divorce. Fear is a common human emotion that is meant to protect us but what happens when the fear becomes overwhelming? Fear takes many forms in divorce: stress, anxiety, […]

Where Do Your Kids Want to Live, and Should You Care? In Episode 72, of the Divorce University Online Podcast, we talk about how to honor our children’s preferences about where they live after divorce. What do your kids need from you? How do you create stability for them? What […]

Out of the Mouth of Babes – In this BONUS Episode, we decided to give you a more personal look at divorce from the viewpoint of children, specifically our own. We have invited our four boys to join us in studio this week to share their experiences of our divorces. […]

What Is Your Divorce Goal? In Episode 71, of the Divorce University Online Podcast, we look at goal setting within the context of divorce. A New Year often brings resolutions but that’s different than goals. You may wonder how goal setting can help you manage divorce. We share some statistics […]

Do You Want to Win Your Case or Feel Heard? In Episode 70, of the Divorce University Online Podcast, we discuss our human desire to feel heard and understand which unfortunately, does not necessarily help us win our Court case. The Court approaches our case from a very logical perspective […]

Co-Parenting Teenagers – In Episode 69 of the Divorce University Online Podcast, we explore the unique aspects of co-parenting teenagers. Being the parent of a teen is already full of daily challenges, but co-parenting adds another layer of difficulty. Differences in the two homes are often an aspect that the […]

Are You In the Divorce Box or Riding the Wave? In Episode 68 of the Divorce University Online Podcast, we bring a different perspective on the ever-changing process of divorce. All Tammy’s fellow type A personalities will relate to this episode and frankly, so will the type B’s thanks to […]

Digging Holes in the Sand…… In Episode 66 of the Divorce University Online Podcast, we talk about digging holes in the sand with your kids, which is an example of how to be an awesome Mom or Dad. We all have a tendency during divorce to focus on our ex […]

Are You a Co-Dependent? In Episode 65 of the Divorce University Online Podcast, we talk about one of the most common labels we hear in divorce, “Narcissist”. But people often fail to understand why they are with a Narcissistic Personality type and what part they play in that dynamic. Many […]

Are You or Your Attorney Drinking from a Firehose? In Episode 64 of the Divorce University Online Podcast, we talk about what it feels like to drink from a firehose. Have you had this experience? People going through a divorce often want to tell their whole story and provide their […]

What Is the Court’s Agenda in a Divorce? In Episode 63 of the Divorce University Online Podcast, we talk about the Court’s agenda in a divorce case versus our own agenda. We often expect the Court to deal with problems, that frankly, either they don’t address or aren’t able to […]

How to Defeat Loneliness. In Episode 62 of the Divorce University Online Podcast, we talk about loneliness, a feeling that is common in divorce. Divorce pulls apart the family and shuffles our children between the homes. You suddenly find yourself having days of no spouse and no kids. So, what […]

Is Your Spouse Having a Midlife Crisis? In Episode 61 of the Divorce University Online Podcast, we answer your questions about midlife crisis. What is a midlife crisis and what causes it? What can you do to help your spouse? What can you do to help yourself? Frequently we want […]

What can we learn from #Ellen about kindness? In Episode 60 of the Divorce University Online Podcast, we discuss Ellen’s recent stance on kindness and how she’s been attacked in the media for it. More importantly, we dive into the similarities between these events and divorce. How can you model […]

How Can I Protect My Kids? In Episode 59 of the Divorce University Online Podcast, we discuss our desire as parents to protect our kids, particularly during divorce. We all want to minimize the negative impact of divorce, whether it’s protecting them from the divorce process or protecting their health, […]

Help! The Fighting Never Ends! In Episode 58 of the Divorce University Online Podcast, we discuss the four main types of high-conflict personalities. High-Conflict Personalities are seen frequently in divorce cases and often have a history of repeated appearances in front of the Court that never seem to end. We […]

What Is Parallel Parenting? In Episode 57 of the Divorce University Online Podcast, we discuss the concept of parallel parenting. If you’re not familiar with this term and you have continuing conflict with your co-parent, then this is a must-listen episode for you. Parallel parenting is the best way to […]

What Do You Want On Your Tombstone? In Episode 56 of the Divorce University Online Podcast, we discuss tombstones. Ok, we know it sounds a bit morbid but you’ll love hearing our favorite funny ones. More importantly, we discuss legacy and how your current choices in your divorce will help […]

My Ex Is A Liar! In Episode 55 of the Divorce University Online Podcast, we discuss how to handle an ex that continually lies. Why do they lie? What do you do if they are even willing to lie to the Court? If their lying is working, should you lie […]

So, You Think Your Ex Is Crazy? In Episode 54 of the Divorce University Online Podcast, we discuss how to handle crazy exes with high-conflict personalities such as Narcissist and Borderline. We’ll give you strategies for dealing with these impossible personalities and help you insulate yourself from the insanity! Listen […]

Why Am I Losing My Custody Case? In Episode 53 of the Divorce University Online Podcast, we discuss what happens when you aren’t getting the results you want in your custody case. It’s easy to blame your attorney, your ex, or even the Court. The problem is, you have no […]

Pride Goeth Before Destruction, In Episode 52 of the Divorce University Online Podcast, we discuss how pride, especially in divorce, creates the sense that “I’m the only on” or “you don’t know my ex”. We tend to feel like our situation is so much harder or more difficult than the […]

Feelings – Yours, Mine, and Ours! In Episode 51 of the Divorce University Online Podcast, we discuss the root of many problems before, during and after divorce, feelings. Feelings around divorce are a constant rollercoaster, one day you’re happy your ex is gone, the next you feel angry about it, […]

It’s All About Control! In Episode 50 of the Divorce University Online Podcast, we discuss our human need for control, which is at the heart of conflict in many divorce cases. Many times the conflict shifts from trying to influence your spouse to trying to influence the Court. And the […]

Vindication: The Heart of Post-Divorce Conflict. In Episode 49 of the Divorce University Online Podcast, we discuss our human need for vindication. We see it in almost every case and it’s natural. More importantly, it’s the driving force behind a vast majority of high-conflict Court battles. If vindication is what […]

No Fault Divorce…….Really? In Episode 48 of the Divorce University Online Podcast, we look back on the evolution of “no fault divorce” and examine how the shift to no fault divorce changed the divorce process. What was the idea behind the “no fault” revolution? Did it accomplish what the Court’s […]

Cover Your……..Monkey’s Butt! In Episode 47 of the Divorce University Online Podcast, we discuss three specific action that make you look like a “monkey’s butt” to the Court and to your ex. Why should you care? Because this can have a significant impact on your case. We also discuss what […]

Got Parental Alienation? In Episode 46 of the Divorce University Online Podcast, we discuss the devastation that is parental alienation. As much as we would love to think one parent would never do this to another, it happens. So what should you do? How do you handle this? And, more […]

Why Won’t the Pain Stop?! In Episode 45 of the Divorce University Online Podcast, we discuss the pain that is divorce. We always say that if a person has never been through a divorce, you can’t possibly explain the extreme emotional pain of it. We often try to (unknowingly) hold […]

In Episode 44 of the Divorce University Online Podcast, we discuss how important it is for you to behave differently than you feel. Let’s face it, we are often filled with grief and extreme emotion at a point where the Court is expecting “Adult Behavior” from us. You can’t always […]

REVENGE: We All Want It! In Episode 43 of the Divorce University Online Podcast, we discuss the most common feeling we see in working with divorcing clients, the desire for revenge. While we aren’t always willing to admit this feeling, we definitely all have it on some level. We have […]

The Five Stages of Divorce Grief Recovery. In Episode 42 of the Divorce University Online Podcast, we discuss the emotional process of moving through divorce which in effect, is a process of grieving. If you are familiar with the work of Elizabeth Kubler-Ross, you’ll recognize our discussion around the 5 […]

Wisdom from on High – 5 Biblical Quotes to Live By After Divorce or Separation. In Episode 41 of the Divorce University Online Podcast, we share our 5 favorite biblical verses that helped us personally during our divorces. Divorce is not easy regardless of which religious beliefs you hold. However, […]

One Powerful Idea to Revolutionize Your Co-Parenting Relationship. In Episode 40 of the Divorce University Online Podcast, we analyze the difficulties of co-parenting. How do you deal with conflict? How do you get privacy from your ex and get them to leave you alone? Most parents are frustrated with their […]

Do You Know the ONE Resource That Will Turn the Tables on Your Divorce? In Episode 39 of the Divorce University Online Podcast, we help you assess what you actually want from your post-divorce life and how to get it. Most people utilize resources such as aggressive lawyers, financial experts […]

How can you combat post-divorce grief? In Episode 38 of the Divorce University Online Podcast, we examine the different areas of our lives that grief can creep into following a divorce. In our experience working with clients, this is an area that everyone struggles with. We’ll also each share how […]

How do you handle the religious training of children after divorce? In Episode 37 of the Divorce University Online Podcast, we walk you through many of the struggles co-parents have around this issue. What if one of you isn’t religious or doesn’t attend church? What if you have different religions? […]

Welcome to Episode 36 of the Divorce University Online Podcast. In Episode 36, I Am Not a Victim, we help you reframe the mindset that traps many of us during divorce. It’s common to feel that your spouse destroyed your family by having affairs, spending excessively, constantly criticizing or whatever […]

Welcome to Episode 35 of the Divorce University Online Podcast. In Episode 35, Understanding Attorney Retainers, Fees, and Billing, we try to remove the confusion around attorney fees. Many divorcing people have never had a prior need for legal services and don’t understand an attorney retainer or how it works. […]

Welcome to Episode 34 of the Divorce University Online Podcast. In Episode 34, Divorce Court Process Flyover – Understanding the Basics, we talk about the legal process that everyone goes through during divorce. It’s important to have a basic understanding of the process so that you can make decisions regarding […]

Welcome to Episode 33 of the Divorce University Online Podcast. In Episode 33, What Are Your Divorce Superpowers?, we talk about common feelings we all have during divorce such as anxiety, anger, fear, and depression. Then, we help you discover the divorce superpower lurking inside of you that will help […]

Welcome to Episode 32 of the Divorce University Online Podcast. In Episode 32, The Number One Divorce Secret: It Will Be Better Tomorrow, we talk about the crisis of divorce that almost every single person experience including the strong illusion that your current misery will last forever. Fortunately, it won’t. […]

Welcome to Episode 31 of the Divorce University Online Podcast. In Episode 31, Four Weapons That Demolish Post-Separation Negativity, we talk about the common cycle of negativity often see in newly separated people. Hurt, anger, and resentment are common emotions in divorce and unfortunately, many people stay stuck in those […]

Welcome to Episode 30 of the Divorce University Online Podcast. In Episode 30, How to Turn Around a Bad Child Custody Situation, we talk about what to do if you have a restraining order, are on supervised visitation, or just have less parenting time than you wanted. Thomas always says […]

Welcome to Episode 29 of the Divorce University Online Podcast. In Episode 29, The Secret to Healthy Post-Divorce Relationships, we talk about what caused the misery in our previous relationship, how we can get ourselves emotionally healthy, and how not to get ourselves into the same situation all over again! […]

Welcome to Episode 28 of the Divorce University Online Podcast. In Episode 28, Five Resolutions to Transform You After Divorce, we talk about how maddening the divorce process is for most people. It is inherently negative and therefore, easily framed in negative ways by those of us going through it. […]

Welcome to Episode 27 of the Divorce University Online Podcast. In Episode 27, Courts Can’t Change Your Ex, we talk about most peoples’ desire for the Court to know what’s going on in their situation. Courts are really good at managing big issues but not so good at managing the […]

Welcome to Episode 26 of the Divorce University Online Podcast. In Episode 26, The Shot Heard ‘Round the World, we talk about how an aggressive stance is a recipe for heartache and expense in any divorce case. A conflict of interest exists for an attorney in any divorce case because […]

Welcome to Episode 25 of the Divorce University Online Podcast. In Episode 25, Step-Parenting, Family Life’s Most Thankless Gig we talk about the difficulty of incorporating new mates into a divorced family. We share some of our own experiences and discuss common questions. How much authority should your new mate […]

Welcome to Episode 24 of the Divorce University Online Podcast. In Episode 24, Communication 201 – Examples of Effective Communication we dive into concrete examples of communication between coparents and explain how we would revise the communication and why we recommend the changes. These examples are designed to help you […]

Welcome to Episode 23 of the Divorce University Online Podcast. In Episode 23 we discuss “Communication, A Vital Co-Parenting Skill”. Are you wearing the black or white hat in your custody case? In this episode, we discuss how to eliminate conflict, defensiveness, and how to let your ex “be the […]

Welcome to Episode 22 of the Divorce University Online Podcast. In Episode 22 we discuss “Care and Feeding of Attorneys” Of course, you want to get as much value as you can from you attorney by leveraging their knowledge and expertise, but how? Join us as we discuss shoeboxes, developing […]

Welcome to Episode 21 of the Divorce University Online Podcast. In Episode 21 we discuss “How Much Does All of This Really Cost?” Obviously, divorce is a financial disaster for almost everyone and concerns about how much more cost will be involved in the divorce process itself, is a very […]

Welcome to Episode 20 of the Divorce University Online Podcast. In Episode 20 we talk about child custody from the point of view of the child, and how these conflict and court battles can affect your child. We also go into detail about how you can shield your child from […]

Welcome to Episode 19 of the Divorce University Online Podcast. In Episode 19, I’m Restrained from seeing My Children, How Can I Get My Kids Back?, We talk about being in one of the most difficult situations a parent can be in, and that is not being able to see […]

Welcome to Episode 18 of the Divorce University Online Podcast. In Episode 18, Are Your Emotions Causing You to Lose Your Case? We talk about how your emotions can take control of your case and cost you time and money spent in the court room. We also talk about how […]

Welcome to Episode 17 of the Divorce University Online Podcast. In Episode 17, Men Are Narcissist, Women Are Borderline. In this Episode we discuss the prevalence of personality disorders in divorce and how having a spouse with a personality disorder impacts the divorce process and outcomes. For more information please […]

Welcome to Episode 16 of the Divorce University Online Podcast. In Episode 16, Help, My Spouse is Having an Affair!, What Should I Do? We talk about the best strategies to impose when you find out that your spouse is having an affair. It is vital to the outcome of […]

Welcome to Episode 15 of the Divorce University Online Podcast. In Episode 15, How to Be Nice When You Don’t Want To, we have discussed why being nice and staying civil is healthy for your case and your children. In this episode we discuss tactics on how to keep this […]

Welcome to Episode 14 of the Divorce University Online Podcast. In Episode 14, Preparing Financial Issues Part Four – Why Calculating Spousal Support is Like Trying to Nail Jello to the Wall. Spousal Support (or Alimony) is by far the most difficult aspect to settle in almost every case. Spousal […]

Welcome to Episode 13 of the Divorce University Online Podcast. In Episode 13, Preparing Financial Issues Part Three – Getting and Enforcing Child Support, we talk about the underlying lawsuit, the necessity of a motion, and many other factors that go into how much is paid, and how to collect […]

 Welcome to Episode 12 of the Divorce University Online Podcast. In Episode 12, Preparing Financial Issues Part Two – Support of Minor Children. In this episode we discuss the two main factors used to calculate guideline child support in California, what the purpose of child support is (i.e. what […]

Welcome to a special Thanksgiving Episode of the Divorce University Online Podcast. In this Episode, Thanksgiving – Family American Style, we discuss the difficulty of holidays for divorcing parties and how our Thanksgiving unfolds 12 years post-divorce. We discuss creating new traditions and let you in on who the guests […]

Welcome to Episode 11 of the Divorce University Online Podcast. In Episode 11, Preparing Financial Issues Part One – What Are the Issues? Finances are a very complex issue in divorce and is a very common point of conflict in divorcing couples. We help you understand all of what is […]

Welcome to Episode 10 of the Divorce University Online Podcast. In Episode 10, Motions Part Two – How to Write a Declaration Supporting Your Motion. Motions part two dives into writing your declarations. There are very specific processes for submitting evidence, and often people are confused on what solid evidence […]

Welcome to Episode 9 of the Divorce University Online Podcast. In Episode 9, Motions Part One – How to Get Temporary Orders, many people are confused by the court process, and the paperwork can be overwhelming. In this episode we go into detail about getting temporary orders, from the paperwork, […]

Welcome to Episode 8 of the Divorce University Online Podcast. In Episode 8, The Emotional Aspects of the Divorce versus the Lawsuit, we pull apart the two aspects of divorce and break them down. You cannot have one without the other, and often the emotional side tends to ruin many […]

Welcome to Episode 7 of the Divorce University Online Podcast. In Episode 7, Avoiding the Battle – How to Announce That You Want a Divorce, we discuss how to introduce the idea of divorce to your spouse with as little conflict as possible. This announcement is a crucial step in […]

Welcome to Episode 6 of the Divorce University Online Podcast. In Episode 6, Don’t Let Your Ex Rent Space In Your Head. In this episode we talk about the biggest mistake that most people make going through the divorce process. Focusing on your ex post pones your post-divorce life and […]

Welcome to Episode 5 of the Divorce University Online Podcast. In Episode 5, Will Divorce Mediation Work for Me? We discuss why court and the litigation process is a bad option for majority of people. Most people tend to think that mediation will not work because they cannot get along, […]

 Welcome to Episode 4 of the Divorce University Online Podcast. In Episode 4, Why Thinking About Child Custody Will Hurt Your Case, we talk about having the wrong mindset when it comes to thinking about your child custody case. We help you to understand how the courts generally look […]

Welcome to Episode 3 of the Divorce University Online Podcast. In Episode 3, You Don’t Know What You Don’t Know, we talk about the pitfalls of trying to represent yourself in family court. We talk about the complexity of the court system, the forms, local rules, and last but not […]

Welcome to Episode 2 of the Divorce University Online Podcast. In Episode 2 we talk about using your head and not your heart. Divorce is a very emotional process for all parties involved. We dive into the top mistakes EVERYONE makes and we’ll help you break down the emotions your […]

Welcome to Episode 1 of the Divorce University Online Podcast. In Episode 1 we discuss the number one key to success in any divorce. You may be surprised to learn that the “secret sauce” is not the attorney you choose, the judge you have, or who is your ex’s attorney. […]

Hear our personal stories and how that motivated us to start this podcast and help others going through similar divorce and child custody struggles.